“How Do I Know I Got a Good Friend?”
Got a question from my son:
“Appa… how do I know I got a good friend?”
Not just for the present… but for a lifetime. 🌈
And like a movie,my mind suddenly travelled back to 1985 — Tiruttani, Tamil Nadu, India
I was 7.
New town… new school… new everything.
Our house was right opposite the school.
Next to it was an open playground where boys and girls played Goli, Gilli every evening.
I used to stand and watch them playing.
I saw the white ‘mavu goli gundu’ ⚪ — only a few kids had it with pride.
I wanted to try… but no one bothered about me.
Then I heard a voice.
A boy, a little matured for his age, calling me:
“Dai…inga vaa da. (Come here friend).”
He walked towards me, smiled, and placed that strong white goli in my hand.
“Throw it to the centre…,” he said.
I hesitated. But when I looked at him directly, something stayed with me forever —
his eyes were big like a goli.
Not wealthy by appearance.
But a heart full of warmth.
An instant bonding — like Feviquick.
That was my Manikandan.
My first definition of a friend — a true heart.
He didn’t expect anything from me. He wasn’t even in my school.
But whatever I liked, he somehow made sure I got it.
One day, he even designed my first “gadget” —
He stuck tiny butterfly pictures (stamp sized) one by one inside a matchbox, fixed a broomstick as a controller knob, and made a rotating mini-TV.
Kids in 2025 swipe screens. Kids in 1985 played with stories.
I don’t remember where he studied.
I don’t know if he ate on time.
But I remember: He was rich — in his heart.
And yet… when my father got transferred again,
I lost him.
Over the years, I met many friends — from school, college, colleagues, teams, leaders, juniors.
But few were like Manikandan.
People who appear only for a short chapter…but stay with you for life.
It’s not always about age or being in the same phase of life.
That’s how I got my Gouthaman R (late).
He pulled me out of loneliness… colored my path…
Even when I landed in the US for the first time, he came to the airport at midnight to pick me up and made sure I spoke to my parents.
Honestly, we had barely spoken in the 3 years before that.
I wasn’t part of his team.
I wasn’t in his frequency.
To others, he could seem tough & demanding, sometimes hard.
But to me, he showed up. Without being asked. Without expecting anything.
And I always wonder: what made him do all that?
In life, we come across such people.
They expect nothing… but stand like always green signals in our path.
I often feel grateful… and sometimes guilty.
Because I couldn’t give back to them the way they gave care and love to me.
But that guilt became a golden seed —
and it made me give it back, in the name of Manikandan and Gouthaman…
by being an invisible warm friend, supportive mentor wherever I can.
Not just for work… but for life memories.
So, when my teen boy asked that question,
I didn’t answer directly.
I said:
Be like Mani and Gouthaman. But watch the signal: who are reflecting back… or just receiving?
You now know the answer. 💎
Because…
Some friends walk with you in the same journey — school, college, office. They are Gold!
But some are rare diamonds — they walk for you, even if not with you.
If you can recognise such people early, you’re gifted.
A true friend is someone who expects nothing, stands by you quietly, corrects you without telling you — and only when distance comes, you realize how much they cared and shaped your journey.
If this touched you, share this with the friend/mentor who colored your life journey — the diamonds 💎
Spread the smiles. 🌈
#SimpleSecrets #Friendship #Gratitude #LifeLessons #EmotionalIntelligence #ei4AIbooks #SignalStories