You’re Not Lost. You’re Frozen.

1987, TIRUTANI TEMPLE — TAMILNADU

“Arogara, Arogara…” — the chant echoed everywhere. Yellow dresses. Bells ringing. The sound felt divine.

Seven of us — my sister, cousins, and I — held hands like a train. Packed so tight that if you dropped a coin, you’d have to search for where it landed.

My father led the way. My mother behind us. We moved through the crowd when we saw it — the temple elephant.

Every child wanted to see it. No one wanted to go near it. That huge body. That trunk swaying in the air. It was blessing people in exchange for fruit and coins.

We walked past without stopping, but our eyes stayed on that elephant.

We had our Darshan. Got back on the bus. Window seats.

The bus started moving.

Suddenly, my mother counted heads.

Her voice shook.

“Where is Varun?”

My four-year-old cousin brother was missing.

The joy of the moment collapsed. Fear took over. In that crowd — thousands of people — how would we find him?

My mother didn’t hesitate. The bus stopped. She ran back.

We all followed.

By grace — or luck —

Someone was holding my cousin’s hand. He was standing a few feet from where the elephant was. Tears streaking his face.

My mother hugged him. We thanked the stranger who’d kept him safe.

That memory has stayed with me.

He didn’t go near the elephant because he was afraid. So he let go of our hand. Got pushed to the corner. The elephant was right there. So he didn’t move.

He just stood there. Frozen. Tears streaming.

He could see us moving. But he was stuck.

And I’ve been watching the signal ever since — in every job, every risk, every moment of fear.

What I learnt:

The Fear elephant is always there in our journey to stop you.

Sometimes it’s the comfort of your title.
Sometimes it’s the paycheck you can’t lose.
Sometimes it’s a company’s layoff move (musth) slowly crushing you.
Sometimes it’s your own fear of starting over.

The truth:

Think like a mother — act with urgency when something you value is at risk.

You don’t run from the elephant. You don’t fight it. You learn to guide it.

The elephant listens to the mahout and his ankusam.

Your creativity, emotional intelligence, curiosity — these are your ankusam. (the tool that guides and control the elephant).

What’s your Ankusam?

That’s what moves you forward.

P.S: If you’re froze by your initial design, living paycheck-to-paycheck, don’t have space to pause, if the elephant is crushing you — you need a Kumki first. A trained elephant to handle the wild one.

Calculated risk. Not philosophy.